My journey continues...

It was difficult to leave Mystical Moab in Utah.  Yet, I was heading towards two new friends whom I met on the Big Island of Hawaii - fellow travelers.  They were living in Salt Lake City, well known as the city of Mormons, yet it has much more to offer.  My friend, was once involved in the Morman life. due to her family, but no longer participated, nor agreed with it, starting when she became old enough to decide for herself.

As I headed towards Salt Lake, my car broke down.  Bummer.  Some small town between Moab and Salt Lake is where I stayed to get it fixed.  It was a big enough town that the delay was only one night, and the hotel was not too expensive.

Driving towards Salt Lake was breathtaking as I approached the City amongst the mountains.  The traffic was horrific, delaying my arrival.  Our reunion was met with excitement and joy.  We explored the city, their favorite hangouts and the mountains by car and foot.  It was an amazing few days.

Regrettably, I put myself on a time table, wanting to be back to the East coast to help out my sister and her kids.  I say regrettably, because once again, I put someone else before me, and missed out on the experience as I rushed my visit in Salt Lake and the rest of the States that would take me back to the East coast.  I wish I had declined the request for assistance and been true to my own journey.  A lesson learned and revisited many times in my life.  Over the years, I have improved on putting my own desires and preferences before me, even though the feedback and judgment can be full of disappointment and disapproval from others, and that I am being selfish (to live my own life).

In retrospect, I should have seen my car issues that came with this part of the trip as an opportunity to put myself first.  As I attempted to leave Salt Lake, I had car problems.  A pleasant delay, since I had another night with my good friends.  I left, and headed toward Wyoming, then would head East.  I was happily driving to some upbeat music when my car just died....in the middle of nowhere.  I looked across the street and there was a camper parked, so if I needed assistance someone was around....no worries, my philosophy that I would receive help when I needed it was true, even on the remote highway of Wyoming.  I was able to call AAA to let them know where I was...although being specific was a challenge since in the middle of nowhere is in the middle of nowhere.  I happened to know the exit number I had last passed, gratefully.

I met Mike, a generous and thoughtful mechanic who drove me around to look for a deal on the hotel room.  We went to three hotels before I found one that gave me a deal for the three nights needed to get the car fixed.  Acquiring the car part required a three day delay since the trains wouldn't be coming into town with the parts until then.  Almost in tears to hear this...I was getting frustrated with my car experiences.  Being from Boston, with things easily accessible, meant that I was a bit spoiled. I had to adjust my thinking otherwise I would make this into more of a negative experience than it actually was.

I remember ordering Chinese food near the first hotel that I was at before I got to the mechanics, since it was too late when I had initially arrived.  Suggestion:  Don't get Chinese food in Wyoming.  I remember how awful it was, and that the Lo Mein was basically spaghetti...not quite authentic Chinese food that I was accustom to in Boston.

Mike became committed to my car issues and my financial concerns, and took time on his days off to get the parts, fix the car and I was out of there before the 3 days. I was so grateful, and it touched my heart that he was so committed and kind - which I viewed as such a gift, and still do after all this time.

With lightness in my heart from my experience with Mike the mechanic, I headed East....

Magical, Mystical Moab

Heading North from Santa Fe, I was heading to Salt Lake City, Utah to visit friends from Kalani (Oceanside Retreat, Big Island of Hawaii).  These two friends were a great support while in Hawaii, when I started my nomadic travels.  We had lots of laughs and I was looking forward to reconnecting with them.  Yet, I had places to visit on my way - Moab, Utah.

Moab, the land of the red rocks and Arches National Park, was an incredible experience -  magical, mystical.  I was compelled to stop along the way to take photos, so it was a long drive, with frequent stops while I headed to the small town of Moab.  I could live here, if only it were on the coast, it would be a perfect match for me.  It was a place where I felt at home.  There are only a few places where I feel at home and this was one of them.  Something called me to these rocks, to the land. It's energy enveloped me and nourished my soul, at it's core.

I spent a few days here, hiking, exploring the rock formations, and the funky town.  I stayed a cheap hotel overlooking the cliffs, mesmerized by the ever-changing light dancing off the red rocks.  A few days was not enough, but being on a budget, I opted to head to Salt Lake City, with a place to stay where I didn't have to dish out money.  I left with the intention of returning, when I could spend more time connecting with such a reverent place.

Magical and mystical are the only ways to describe this place and my experience.  There was nothing that happened specifically that I can share with you, nothing to detail that this or that happened, yet something profound did happen, just by being there.  Moab, mystical and magical.  Hopefully, you have had an experience such as this, and understand.

Northward...to Santa Fe, New Mexico

Santa Fe, New Mexico

Santa Fe, surrounded my mountains, an artist community with diversity, funkiness and a school for the Deaf (which matters to me because that is my profession - a teacher of the Deaf).  I drove through Albuquerque, with a glance, not getting the feeling that it was a place to stop.  Arriving to Santa Fe late in the day, with a chugging in my car.  I stopped at a mechanic, who said it was most likely due to the increased elevation.  My car needed time to adjust.  Okay...I probably would as well.

I had a place to stay.  A friend of a friend, was letting me stay in their guesthouse.  I had never met these people, yet they joyfully welcomed me because we shared a friend, a dear friend who is a fellow nomad.  The guesthouse was charming, southwest in decor.  It provided privacy, a place to cook and lounge and an incredible bed.  These new friends took the time to show me Santa Fe, driving me around and taking me to their favorite restaurants and treating!

My new friends were leaving for two of the 4 weeks that I was there and paid me to take care of their home and dog, (who just recently passed away, RIP Fuji).  So not only were they providing me with a place to stay, they were paying me...how great was that!  I declined the money at first, not yet comfortable with accepting such generosity.  Then I realized that it was an exchange of service, and they would have paid someone else if I was not there - I took the money with gratitude.

I walked the streets of Santa Fe, enjoying the adobe style buildings, browsing the artists' creations on the sidewalks, driving in the mountains, and visiting the school for the Deaf.  It is a great school, despite the lack of competitive pay, with the same amount of responsibility.  I would have considered a position there if I was really looking to return to teaching, but I wasn't.

Canyon Road, Santa Fe, NM

I was there at the time of the pilgrimage to El Santuario de Chimayo, which has been called the "Lourdes of America"     I drove, heading out to Taos, and happened up this pilgrimage.  Many people walked miles, from Albuquerque to arrive on Easter weekend.  There is a hole in the Sanctuary, where the crucifix once was, that magically disappeared.  There was a line to get to see the hole, and to take a portion of the sand, precious sand.  Later, I saw them bringing more sand into this hole....which made me chuckle.  I no longer practice any kind of organized religion, yet, I could understand and show reverence for this experience and people's faith and desire to do a pilgrimage.  I have my own desire to do the El Camino de Santiago, the walk across Spain, so I could relate - it is a personal spiritual pilgrimage outside of any religious connections.

For more detailed information:  http://www.archdiocesesantafe.org/AboutASF/Chimayo.html

                                          

During my first year of nomadic travels, one of my personal lessons was to learn how to accept kindness from others, without giving in return.  I usually was the giver in most of my relationships, although with some friends that wasn't the case.  That was my comfort zone.  I gave more than I received.  That can be detrimental, often leading to resentment if one isn't careful.  My travels started to give me more opportunities to increase my comfort zone in this area.  At first, it was accepting with reluctance, with mixed emotions.  Now, years into my nomadic travels, it has become much easier to say 'yes' when someone is offering me something.  It no longer defines me, as being the 'giver' once did.

I have this dream though, that when I receive my abundance of money, that I will be able to retrace my steps to meet up with those who gave to me freely, unconditionally, and return their kindness.  And, if that it isn't possible, I would like to 'pay it forward' in their honor, because I believe that will add in the serendipity in their lives, bringing them unexpected treats, kindness, abundance.

My car didn't adjust.  I visited a couple of mechanics during my stay here, and each time, the problem seemed to be rectified.  I was learning to let go and surrender to the fact that I would be okay no matter where I was when my car decided to not work properly.  This is only pertinent in this story of my journey because I defined myself as independent, and getting stuck somewhere was incongruous to my being.  It tested me, and was actually helping me become more trusting, reminding me that I didn't need to do all the work, to be in control - that I was being taken care of, no matter where I was on this planet.

Saying good-bye to my new friends was more difficult than I had expected, and driving a way after the second visit to the mechanic, I headed farther North...to Utah.

The Gila Wilderness

Gila Wilderness/National Forest, NM

After my 'escape' from the hostel in T or C, I found myself heading towards total wilderness to Gila National Forest.  It is a protected forest and absolutely breathtaking.  It has plenty of hiking trails, a catwalk, cliff dwellings and canyons.  After hours of driving I gratefully got out of the
car and walked the catwalk which took me deep inside the forest, where I could explore cave and the forest.  However, the catwalk barely scratches the surface of what Gila has to offer.

Cliff Dwellings

 Some say the best way to do it is by horse, if you ride a horse that is.  A backpacking trip, hiking the scruffy jagged terrain along the canyon, amongst  the wilderness would have been heaven.

Yet, I was alone, and I was new to this traveling and being spontaneous, and I was so unprepared for a long term hiking trip.  So, I did the catwalk, and soaked up the energy of the land shaking off the negativity that came with some of my experiences in T or C....things that actually just triggered emotions, which made the situation feel worse than it was.    I felt the freedom creep back into my body and I was thrilled to be on my own again, without be accountable to anyone or having to work.


I spent the day at Gila, a much too short of a trip, and headed on the long road to..wasn't sure where, I just knew it was going to be long and desolate.


Traveling alone on the highway for hours, through ghost towns, surrounded by the white satellite dishes, made it a bit creepy, eery.  Yet, I kept a look out for anything peculiar...alien, UFOs since this was the area.  Nothing.  Absolutely nothing, just me on the road until I came to the town of Soccoro, NM.  I checked into the newly renovated Econo-lodge there, and was so delighted with the quality of mattress, the cleanliness of the room, the breakfast they provided, free internet, etc., for an incredible deal of $35.  Of course, things may have changed, but it was an incredible deal.

I took the night to rest, weary from my driving, requiring time to reflect on my own state of mind, my next destination, and as always dealing with the question that haunts me through this journey, 'What am I doing?'.   Sadly, the answer is 'I don't know.'  It is foreign to me, this traveling solo, with the intention of being spontaneous, letting the road guide me.   Deeply desiring to my core that I become able to surrender to this journey, developing the trust that is needed to know I am on the right path for me, and I am okay, no matter what.  To be consumed by the feeling of peace and freedom, not fear.


These times when I found myself in true solitude, I could connect with my inner guidance and I knew that this was a process that would lead me to the feeling that I was seeking - peace and a deep rooted sense of trust.   I felt as though I was wasting time, letting my fears creep in, consuming me, robbing me of that trust and peace, and joy.  I am then reminded, this is a process, albeit slower than I would have liked. And a gentleness envelopes me, allowing me to be kinder to myself as I would be if this were someone else.  Sleep overrides any need for contemplation, and oh what a great night sleep...I have to say, a good mattress is priceless!  I awoke with renewed enthusiasm and I get in the car and just drive....heading North.

Truth or Consequences

Leaving Austin, Texas was bittersweet.  I had enjoyed my time with my friends, yet I was ready for more adventures.  I also wasn't heading towards anyplace where I knew someone, so I was feeling alone, the fear emerging as I headed onto the long highways of Texas.  It took work, but I kept the fear at bay.

New Mexico was my destination.  I had heard of a town called Truth or Consequences, named after a popular radio show in the 1940s and 1950s.  The town had changed it's name for the sake of a contest.  I also knew the place I was searching for, a hostel-like accommodation, the Riverbend, that had work exchange possibilities, with hot springs, on the Rio Grande.

The drive was interrupted by car issues.  In the middle of nowhere-ville, Texas, my car started to die.  I would pull over and wait, and it would start up again.  I could go only so many miles before the process repeated itself.  Okay...the next town is only 150 miles away...it was nerve-wracking to say the least.  Trucks flew by me, and not one person stopped.  Eventually, I made it to the next town, to a mechanic that was willing to look at it the next day.

At my hotel, I called Ron, my trusted mechanic in Boston.  I described the situation and he diagnosed it on the spot.  "Bring it in.", said Ron.  "Ummm, I'm Texas...I'm calling for a consult.".  He laughed, and was a great support.  Its been years since I left Boston and I still miss Ron.   Finding a great trustworthy mechanic is such a blessing.

T or C, New Mexico

Yet, the Texas mechanic couldn't find the problem even though I had given him the information from my mechanic.  The details gets foggy here, but I remember him fixing something, charging me almost nothing for his time and work, and off I went.  I was so glad to have not been ripped off, because, honestly, I was alone in Texas, a single woman, and in a very small town where he could have taken advantage of the situation.  He didn't.  I was grateful.

Coming into Truth or Consequences was mixed with excitement and disappointment.  The surroundings are breathtaking.  It is a funky town, which I loved.  It is run down.  It is meth-lab central.  The Rio Grande is not so grand.  Yet, here I was.  I found the funky hostel, and paid for 2 nights, and then asked to do a work exchange.  In doing so, I was initially a guest so I didn't stay in the dorm, but a guest room.

At the Riverbend

Due to the dysfunction of the place, I was able to stay in the private room while I did the work exchange, whereas most went to the dorms.  I missed the details of what was happening behind the scenes until my last day there.  By then, I didn't care that they had wanted me to be out of the guest room and move to the dorms.  They also didn't want me to leave since I was such a great worker.  Ten days into it, I knew I had to leave.  Dysfunction.  Ugh.  I crept out at sunrise to begin my drive heading towards the Gila National Forest.

Elephant Butte

Hot Springs, near
the  Rio Grande

What I remember most of T or C is that I loved the funkiness.  I spent hours, upon hours in the healing waters of the hot springs, alone or chatting with whomever was there. I made a few acquaintances who made my time there worthwhile, just to be connected to others, to share our life experiences, yet none became long-time friends.   I hiked the mountains and along the river.  I visited Elephant Butte.  I was thrilled to see a body of water.

The work at the work exchange was so minimal in comparison to what I did as a career.  It was mindless.  I met a variety of different folks from all walks of life, of different ages.  We gathered for meals and laughed and shared stories.  Everyone was different, yet accepted.  It felt comfortable.

Yet, that morning I was ready to leave.  I snuck out at sunrise, escaping more of the 'last good-byes' and the pressure that I was getting to stay on.  We had had celebration of sorts the night before, which was enough for me.  I was ready for the green and lushness of the Gila National Forest, and the feel of freedom on the road that would take me there.

Keep Austin Weird

Austin, Texas

My drive from Galveston to Austin was short and uneventful.  I considered stopping in Houston, but not looking for a big city experience, I drove on by.  Sometime later, when I met someone who grew up in Houston, who then told me about all that it has to offer, I was wished I had taken the time.  But, such is life.  I headed to Austin, to stay with friends whom I had met at Kalani, on the Big Island of Hawai'i. 

My friends live outside of the city, in a small community amongst the trees and wildlife.  It was easy access to downtown Austin where I explored the 'weirdness' of the area...and for me, I fit right in.  It was my kind of weirdness - liberal, had diversity, metaphysical options...ahh, a safe haven in a conservative state.  After walking the streets and around Lady Bird Lake, I ate at local cafes and funky restaurants to get the feel of the place, despite the budget issues.  I ventured to the outer areas, hiking through the terrain and finding caves to explore.  I found some wonderful spots for meditation and connecting with the earth's energies.  

My trip to Austin was a good respite from traveling alone, having two friends who may have not known me well or for that long, but were like-minded, generous with their home and time, and gave me the freedom to do things independently.  They were perfect hosts for me, who prefers to travel solo, and who often gets caught up in what others may want, compromising my own desires.  I look back on that friendship and their kindness with gratitude...to Toli and Christine, even after all these years you remain dear to my heart.

Austinpost.org

From research, a good description of Austin and it's people:  Austinites have also adopted the unofficial slogan " Keeping Austin Weird". This interpretation of the classic, "Texas-style" sense of independence refers to: the traditional and proudly eclectic, liberal lifestyles of many Austin residents; a desire to protect small, unique, local businesses from being overrun by large corporations; and, as a reaction to the perceived rise of conservative influences within the community.  Austin is known as an oasis of liberal politics in a generally conservative state....thus, being a place I could visit with a breath of fresh air in this conservative state that seemed to be providing me with some ongoing challenges while I interacted with people.

Downtown is filled with the presence of popular live music and nightlife scene, museums, a mix of diverse restaurants, Lady Bird Lake, which is considered one of the city's best recreational spots, and the 2nd Street District, now with several new residential projects, restaurants, coffee shops, stores, upscale boutiques and museums...Austin seems to be ever expanding, despite these economic times, but keeping with it's integrity.

Austin is a great place to visit, and to live, if I wasn't such an ocean lover...way too far from the ocean for me to reside here, but it was well worth the trip with all that it has to offer.  And, the bats...incredible...

About the bats:  On the Congress Ave bridge, the world's largest urban population of Mexican Free-tailed bats can be seen, emerging at sunset in search of insects..a great way for pest control, I suppose.  Starting in March, up to 1.5 million bats take up residence inside the bridge's expansion as well as in long horizontal grooves running the length of the bridge's underside, an environment ideally suited for raising their young.  The bats migrate to Mexico each winter.  Amazingly beautiful. Copy and paste into Youtube:  http://youtu.be/pEmuyZdqw4E

Free-tailed bats take flight from their roosts under Austin's Congress Avenue…
(KAREN MARKS / Bat Conservation International)

Camper issues

So, we all travel for different reasons.  I was traveling for multiple reasons myself - burnout, wanting a change, unleash my inner free-spiritedness, walk through my fears, etc., etc.  Most people are probably traveling for a vacation.  These are the people whom were in awe of what I was doing.  I relished in that positive response.


Then there are those who are traveling as a way of life - free spirits, nomads.  These people are my inspiration.  I am in awe of them, even as I become one of them.

Then there are those who are traveling as a way of life who are struggling, who aren't aware of their personal issues and are looking for something...well, not just looking but grasping desperately for something...these are the people whom I have compassion for but need to stay away from for self-protection.  I can easily fall into some co-dependent behaviors, losing my focus on my own journey.

I came across one of these people in Galveston, at the camp site of the State Park.  He was kind, but with an agenda.  He offered me food and warm shelter in his RV during the night since the nights were so cold (which I nicely declined).  He wanted to show me around Texas, join him in his travels across the US...basically, he was trying to make a connection that comes with shared time.  He was ever so lonely and wanted a companion, immediately.  Each conversation became about how I was so much like him and wanting a relationship.  Umm...I just met you and I really haven't said much.  Ugh!  His deep-seated desire to have a connection overstepped boundaries and his comments were so inappropriate.

Instead of being friendly and working towards getting to know each other, he was overwhelming, all consuming...a leech...he showed up everywhere I went.  I couldn't go anywhere without being discovered.  We were neighbors at the camp and I didn't feel as though I could change sites, so I went to the beach.  He found me, joined me on walks...which normally would have been nice other than that I didn't want a leech for company.  I felt his needs and desire to be with someone sucking the energy from me - suffocating me.  This was an all too familiar feeling.


After a couple of days of this, I knew my time there was now limited.  I was hoping that his stay was going to be short, but he planned on being there for a couple of weeks.  I couldn't do this for that long.  It was unfortunate.  I wanted to stay.  I never felt that this man was a threat, but that he was so incredibly lonely and seeking something that I couldn't give him.

At that point in my life, I felt the urge to run, and I did.  Early the next morning I quickly and quietly packed up all my things and took to the road.  That was the best that I could do at that time, run.  Now,  looking back on it, I would probably have a different response and I could have found a way to take care of myself better and would be able to stay.  But, I guess that is the benefit of personal growth.  A similar situation probably still remains a trigger for me, but I know that I can do something different other than run.

So, I headed inland, to Austin...a place where residents of Austin consider themselves separate from Texas...